


love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime

by castielsangel_x



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Crossover, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Real Events, Joe and Nicky on the Titanic, M/M, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Needs a Hug, Not Beta Read, Protective Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, RMS Titanic, Soft Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26636131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielsangel_x/pseuds/castielsangel_x
Summary: The 'Joe x Nicky on the Titanic' fic that no one asked for.orJoe and Nicky on that fateful night the Titanic hit the iceberg and the aftermath.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 16
Kudos: 160





	love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I'm gonna be honest. This plot bunny burrowed itself in my brain and would not leave. I'm not even completely happy with it but I'm posting it because if I don't, I'll fuss over it for so long and then I'll hate and it will be left to fester in the dark depths of a folder marked 'Will Go Back To', but guess what! I'll never go back to it. I needed this situation in my life because I believe Joe and Nicky would have helped every single person aboard the Titanic if it was humanly possible. But here we are ...
> 
> Don't come at me! Any mistakes are mine and I apologise. And inacuracies, i'll fix it if any. 
> 
> (and yes, the title is from My Heart Will Go On, because I have no heart left after writing this)

“Joe, the ship … it’s …”

“I know, _habibi_ , I know.”

“These people won’t stand a chance. We’re in the middle of the ocean …” Nicky said, the panic in his voice evident as he tried to keep calm. Joe knew it in his heart, he knew what would happen to these people and the pain in his chest struck him like a knife. They had boarded the Titanic in England, intending to join Andromache and Sebastien in New York. They’d gone first, intending to meet them at their safe house there. They’d been apart for a few months and Nicky through it was time to meet again after a short time alone with his love. But the ship, the unsinkable Titanic, hit an iceberg and they were taking on water like there was no tomorrow. They’d won their tickets, ending up in steerage but they didn’t care. It was definitely cleaner than places they’d slept before. Not that it mattered now.

“We need to help them … it won’t matter about us …” Nicky said but Joe turned to him suddenly, grabbing him by the shirt sleeves.

“You can’t say that, Nicolo. What if this is the time I lose you? I can’t think like that, my heart. We need to save ourselves as well as these people,” he said. The screaming coming from the corridors outside their rooms was loud and terrifying and it make Joe’s blood chill in his veins. He turned back to the bed and picked up their coats. “Put that on. Stay warm.” Nicky did as he was asked, the freezing cold water that was already up to their ankles. Joe took his face in his hands, pressing a kiss to his lips. Nicky held him close, kissing back just as hard until they had to part for air. “Stay with me, Nicolo. We’ll do what we can to help.” He picked up a flat cap and pressed it softly onto Nicky’s head before he took his hand. “Come on.” They left the room together, straight into a fast moving crowd of people, Nicky’s hand tightening around his as he stayed as close to his back as possible, others pushing and pulling, the screaming - oh god, the screaming - Nicky wasn’t sure he could take it. It was the children, so innocent, so pure, who had no idea what was happening. 

“They’re locking us in …” came a voice from down the corridor and Joe pulled Nicky quicker after him, pushing by some of the others to get to the gates just as one of the ship stewards was trying to close the gates. Joe reached the gates, Nicky behind him, throwing his weight as hard as he could against the gate, making the steward stumble back and drop his keys into the water on the floor.

“You bastard …” the steward said, just as Joe grabbed him by the front of his uniform and into an empty side corridor.

“You want that on your conscience? That you locked people in and let them drown first because they’re not like everyone else. You’re going to die too … so let’s all die together …” Joe snarled in the man’s face, the fear in his eyes indescribable.

“I w-was only doing what I was told …” he stuttered, looking between Joe and Nicky.

“Joe, come on,” Nicky said. “We have to get on deck, see what’s going on.” Joe pushed the man away from him, watching him scurry away before Nicky took his hand again and he pulled him back out into the mob of people now moving towards the exit. A sudden high pitched scream had them looking back over their shoulders, an earth shattering crash and there was torrents of water coming round the corner, they way they had come. There was no way they could move at any speed, stuck in amongst all those people but they tried, encouraging women with children and older passengers in front of them. That broke Nicky’s heart the most - children, the frail and the elderly, they’d never make it. The freezing water hit them hard, screams and gargling from people who had gone under all around them. Nicky fought to keep standing, his fingers barely holding on to Joe’s, before the force of the water took their legs out from right underneath them. Nicky’s head went under and he felt someone stand on his fingers, most definitely breaking them. He fought to bring his head back up, hands grabbing the front of his coat and bringing him up. Joe was there, also soaked to the skin, helping him up before pulling him towards the staircase out of steerage.

“Are you alright, _habibi_?” Joe asked, and Nicky nodded quickly, the bones in his fingers already mended and back to normal. He wiped the water out of his eyes and they both made their way out with a bit more room to move now as the corridors were wider. “The water won’t take long to rise … a few hours and this ship won’t be here anymore.” They were freezing, absolutely soaked but they stuck together until they managed to get up on deck, the whole ship in an absolute uproar. There was passengers everywhere, lifeboats being prepped before loading. “What do we do, Nicolo?” Nicky looked up at Joe, hearing the uncertainty in his voice. He looked scared. Despite their obvious advantage in this whole situation, Nicky did not want to drown. Drowning was one of the worst, and it always made him think of Quynh, lying on the bottom of the ocean somewhere in the world, screaming hoarse where no one could hear her and drowning over and over. “Nicky?”

“Women and children to the lifeboats first … women and children,” called one of the stewards from nearby, making both men turn to look, people rushing towards the lifeboats. Nicky pulled on Joe’s hand.

“We have to go back … we need to let them know they can get on …” Nicky said before he took off back towards where soaked passengers were still coming from steerage. Nicky pushed by, shouting in any and all languages he knew, letting them know women and children could be taken first, the cries of relief from mothers and other women making Joe’s heart hurt. They helped best the could, Nicky helping a woman with three children by carrying two for her, one on each hip, as she explained in Italian that she could not find her husband while she carried her third child in her arms. Joe helped a woman who could not walk properly, lifting the elderly woman into his arms and carrying her, the woman crying softly into the crook of his neck as she thanked him. The deck became more crowded, men fighting to get on the boats, first class bastards who thought because they had money that they could bag the first seat on a lifeboat. A steward ushered Joe forward, letting the older woman be taken from him and on to a boat, the woman squeezing Joe’s hand as he let her go. 

“You said women and children …” Nicky’s voice behind him made him turn, to see him angrily having words with another steward.

“There are four of them … we need to …”

“You don’t need to anything! They have as much right to live as the rich. You were going to lock us in steerage so we would not get near lifeboats …” Nicky spat at the man. His eyes became like ice, shooting absolutely cold fury at the man in front of him. “I do not care if I die … but I care if I was not at least able to help someone. Let them on the boat, there is more than enough room. The children are small, they will not take up much room.” The steward looked at the crying children in Nicky’s arms before he stood aside, letting Nicky help the young mother into the boat, settling her down with her young children. She grabbed Nicky’s hand and pulled him close, kissing his cheek.

“ _Grazie, grazie mille_ …” she sobbed, holding all her children close. Nicky had to will back the tears in his eyes.

“ _Vivete bene_ …” Nicky said before he stepped back and off the boat, into Joe’s arms. 

“God, I love you …” Joe said softly, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead. “Come on … there’s more we can help.”

Time passed so slowly, the ship ever so gently tipping as below decks flooded more. Joe and Nicky had offered their services on two different lifeboats, a few degrading insults from rich passengers, classing them as immigrants and they didn’t want to be near them, but Joe and Nicky had heard enough insults over their years that one more wasn’t going to hurt them. That, and Joe threatened to throw one man into the ocean before the ship even sank that far, and he shut up immediately. The air was biting cold and Joe felt like his fingers were on fire. His whole body was cold due to his wet clothes but he kept working. Another lifeboat was slowly being lowered and Nicky’s voice cutting through the air with that cold fury from before caught his attention.

“ _Bastardo_ … that boat is only half full … not even,” he called out and Joe looked further down the ship to see a boat being lowered. First class passengers. Nicky was right, it wasn’t even half full. Nicky jumped down from the lifeboat he was helping and sprinted towards the other one, grabbing the crewman in charge by his uniform. “People are going to die …”

“Get off me …”

“Fill the boat …” Nicky demanded. “Fill the boat or these people will die …” He was cut off abruptly when the crewman pulled his gun, pressing it against Nicky’s chest. Nicky stepped back, arms up in surrender. He couldn’t be shot in front of everyone. There would be no way to explain it. He stepped away, looking at the boat as it was lowered to the water. If anyone deserved to live, it was the innocent, not the rich, not the greedy. “ _Stronzo_ …” He led more women and children to the boat, one woman shivering so hard Nicky picked up a blanket from inside the lifeboat and wrapped it around her. She smiled, her eyes shining with tears before he helped her in. 

“Take the boat down …” the crewman at Joe’s lifeboat called, helping Joe back onto the deck. Joe moved back to Nicky’s side. 

“You nearly got yourself shot, Nicolo …” he chastised. “Please, be careful.”

“We’re going to die anyway, Joe. Ten, twenty, maybe a hundred deaths from the cold once we hit the water. I’d rather a bullet than the biting cold of the Atlantic ocean over and over,” he said, his tone as cold as the air. Joe was surprised at the way Nicky spoke, but he slipped his hand into his, a slightly uncomfortable silence between them for a moment.

“ _Amore mio_ … we cannot save everyone,” Joe said, softly. Nicky would not look at him for a moment, before his tear filled eyes, his soft blue-green orbs, met Joe’s.

“I know … and that’s what makes this whole situation all the harder …” he said. Joe pulled him away from the lifeboats to a secluded corner for a moment before he pulled him against his chest, letting him have a moment. He wept silently into Joe’s coat, Joe whispering soft words in his ear. 

“I love you, Nicolo di Genova …” he said gently, kissing Nicky’s forehead.

“I love you too, Yusuf,” he replied. He wiped his eyes. “Come on, we’re no good to anyone like this. We need to help where we can.”

**********

It had to have only been at least half an hour later, Nicky and Joe back helping where they could when the ship tilted that little bit faster than they were used to. Nicky watched the bow of the ship start to sink faster, the water rushing aboard. Joe shared a quick glance with Nicky before he took a woman’s hand and helped her in, just as another woman came running. 

“My baby … I can’t find my baby …” she sobbed. Joe leapt off the lifeboat and he took her in his arms, shrugging off his coat and putting it around her.

“Where did you see her last?” Joe asked.

“The staircase … with the clock. There was too many people, we were separated” she sobbed. Joe looked towards the grand glass dome nearby, knowing thats where he had to go. The boat was sinking more and more and he knew he had to help her. He took her hand and pulled her over to Nicky at the other lifeboat. 

“I’ll get her …”

“She has a pink hat on … had her doll with her,” the woman cried, burying her face in her hands. Joe looked at Nicky, who held onto the woman, before he looked down at the rapidly rising water. 

“I’ll be back …” he said, not caring who saw, before he pulled Nicky into a quick kiss. “I will be back, Nicolo.” He turned from his love and ran for the grand staircase, down towards where the water was rising. His heart thudded against his chest, knowing he’d survive but the fear in Nicky’s face had him worried. The screaming got louder as he ran through the corridors, despite protests from others telling him to go back the other way. The rush of water came to his ears and he stopped on the upper level, looking down on people trying their hardest to swim for safely. The scream of ‘mama’ had him turning, only to see the small girl, wearing a lifejacket, clutching her doll to her chest, one level down, luckily not in the water yet. Joe rushed down the stairs and stopped in front of the little girl.

“Come on … come with me. I know where mama is,” he said and she didn’t have time to be wary of him as the windows of the room suddenly broke under the strain of the water outside. It rushed into the room, pulling people through the broken frames. The girl jumped into his arms and he cradled her close.

“Yusuf …” came Nicky’s heavenly voice from the level above.

“I’m here, Nicolo …” he called back before he began running for the stairs, the screams from the people in the water making him feel physically sick. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. He managed up most of the stairs to Nicky when the entire ceiling creaked from the strain of water. Nicky reached out and grabbed the little girl from him just as the glass ceiling caved in, the onslaught of water crashing down upon them. Nicky got the girl away but Joe slipped on the wet stairs and it sent him down into the water, Nicky’s voice screaming his name, almost like he had fallen through ice, it was so cold. It took him a moment to try and swim, the pressure of the cold against his head painful. The sound of the rushing water seemed louder and more painful from underwater. He kicked his legs hard, his chest in so much pain, as he swam for the surface while there still was a surface. His head broke it quickly, gasping in as much air as he could. He blinked water out of his eyes, swimming forward to where there was still staircase left and to where he saw Nicky backing away with the child in his arms.

“Yusuf …” he called as Joe managed to grab the pillar and use it to pull himself over the balcony of the upper level before the water came cascading through it. The minute Joe had his feet on something solid, he broke into a run, pulling Nicky with him, who held the child tight in his arms as she cried. They broke back out quickly onto the deck through a side door and Nicky took the child to her mother, who was getting ready to get into a lifeboat. She began sobbing when she saw them before she pulled Joe into a hug, crying into his shoulder. 

“ _Merci_ … _merci,”_ was all she could cry out as she hugged her daughter, checking her for any injuries before Nicky was helping her into the lifeboat. Joe leaned against the pillar nearest him, sliding down to sit and take a moment. What would Andromache and Sebastien do if they were here? He watched Nicky from where he sat, who had taken hold of the ropes on one side of the lifeboat and helping to manually lower it down. His brave, strong Nicolo, who had always been by his side. His whole body felt tired, his muscles had a dull ache and he was freezing. A flare went off above their heads, painting the sky brightly. He rubbed a hand through his curls to get rid of the excess water before he got to his feet again, just as one of the funnels began to creak and bend, the thick wires keeping it attached snapping down against the water before it began to topple. Joe watched in horror as it came down hard onto the water, onto hundreds of people swimming for their life. The water splashed hard up the deck. His eyes found Nicky’s, who had finally let the boat down far enough before he began cutting the ropes.

“Yusuf … it’s stuck …” he called and Joe moved forward to his love, accepting a knife from the crewman who was holding onto the side for dear life, his face a picture of shock. Joe climbed onto the other rigging, cutting at the ropes so the boat could finally get away from this mess. “Go, quickly …” Nicky gestured at the crewman on the lifeboat and they began rowing. He and Joe jumped down from where they were, watching the water level rise again.

“We can’t do anymore here. We need to go up,” Joe said, looking in the direction of the stern before he took Nicky’s, the former priest flinching at how cold his skin was. He was cold himself, but Joe was like ice. One of the crewman thanked them for their help before he begged them to put on lifejackets, taking off his own and picking up a spare. They were hesitant to take them.

“I’m going down with the ship … live happily, if you can” the crewman said and insisted, holding them out. Joe and Nicky took them, Nicky saying a quick prayer for the man, who nodded in thanks, before ridding himself of his coat, helping each other with their lifejackets. Joe took Nicky’s hand again and they made their way up the ship, the image of how much it was tilting in front of them terrifying. There was so many people, Joe wasn’t even sure they’d make it to the top. God, how they wished the screaming would stop. They moved by people who were just clinging on for dear life, praying, hugging their loved ones. They felt the ship sink further and gripped onto the nearest railing, both holding on tightly. Nicky looked at his love, meeting his eyes before leaning forward to press his forehead to his. 

“Unsinkable, my ass,” Joe said softly, Nicky softly huffing a laugh between them. “If we get separated …”

“Yusuf, no …”

“ _Nicolo_ …” he said firmly, cupping his cheek. “This ship is going down, we’re going down with it. There’s going to be thousands of people in the water … we might get separated. I will find you, my love. I will always find you.” Nicky pulled back from him slightly to get a proper look at him. His skin was paler from the cold, his breath visible as he exhaled hard against the cold, but his eyes held nothing but love and warmth as they shivered violently in each others arms. 

“I love you, Yusuf, always. All these years and that hasn’t changed,” he said. Joe was about to speak when an almighty crack sounded over everyone, silencing them for a moment, the deck in front of Joe and Nicky beginning to crack as most of the front of the ship was now underwater. The weight of the stern was too much for the ship to handle and it slowly splintered in front of their eyes and the ship plunged into darkness. They scrambled further up the ship, trying their hardest to hold on, another flare sent up into the air above them. It illuminated them for a moment and the fear in Nicky’s face was evident, his paleness, his lips tinting slowly blue. Joe leaned in and pressed a kiss to them, Nicky gasping softly against his lips, holding tight to his love, just as the crack in the ship got bigger and the back end of the ship fell back down to see level with an almighty crash. They were sent sprawling along the deck, reaching for each other. Before they even had a moment to process, the stern of the ship was slowly being pulled back up vertically, both of them climbing up and over railings, balancing on them. When the ship was completely vertical, it stilled, Nicky closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Immortal or not, he had never been scared like this in a long time. Joe looked up above them, people falling and hitting the water.

“ _Habibi_ , we have to jump ... the ship will pull us down,” Joe said before he looked up to the highest point of the ship. God, it was a long way down for them up there. Passengers had climbed over the railing at the back end of the ship, holding on for their life. He looked back down at the water. They’d hit it soon and the fear was indescribable. He held Nicky’s hand in his and kissed it gently.

“I’m here, Yusuf …”

“Remember, Nicolo … I’ll find you … I’ll always find you,” Joe promised him, the water coming up quicker than they imagined. They stood up best they could on the shaky railings, looking at each other once more before they jumped together. It almost felt like they were falling in slow motion before they were submerged beneath the freezing water of the Atlantic, their hands clasped tight, but they were still being pulled under by the ship. The pain - oh god, the pain - of the cold on their bodies was excruciating. The sting of the cold in their eyes made it impossible to see anything but Joe pulled hard on Nicky’s hand, kicking his legs hard to try to get back up to the surface. Nicky tried to follow but his hand slipped from his lover’s, panic immediately set into his chest. He kicked hard, people falling into the water all around him until the ship was fully under. Nicky managed to kick away from it hard enough to go upwards, his head breaking the surface with an huge inhale of ice cold air. He looked around, water splashing, people swimming for their lives, screaming, crying as he searched around for Joe.

“Yusuf …” he said softly, panic rising in his chest, as he looked in every direction for his love. He began to swim around, the cold making his arms and legs feel like lead, but he managed with the help of the lifejacket. “Yusuf!” He pushed by people who were flailing in panic in the water, all the while keeping himself as calm as possible. “Yusuf … where are you?”

“Nicolo …” came Joe’s voice from nearby and Nicky turned and swam towards the voice. Joe was there, his shirt collar stained with blood but he had no wound, not that that stopped Nicky checking him when he got to him. “I’m fine, _habibi_ … a piece of the ship hit me.” He gripped Nicky’s lifejacket, helping him over to some floating debris, both grabbing onto something. It was so dark, the moonlight serving little purpose, but the sounds of splashing water and crying echoing in the darkness was something Nicky knew he would remember for the rest of his days. Joe breathed deeply, resting his forehead on his hands against the wood he was using to keep himself up. 

“It’s so cold …” Nicky said, his teeth chattering against each other. Joe lifted his head, looking at his love, reaching over to take his hands, their fingers numb against each others. 

“I’m sorry, Nicolo …” he said, softly.

“What for?”

“I shouldn’t have taken the tickets in that bet back at port,” he said. Nicky squeezed his hand back gently, his other hand gripping at the wood panel between them. The lifejacket kept him floating but he could not feel his feet or legs anymore.

“You couldn’t have known, _amore mio._ I’m just glad you’re here with me. If I’d lost you …” he said, before he broke off, feeling the tears well in his eyes. He looked around them. “All these people … it hurts, Yusuf. We were only able to help a fraction of them …”

“I know, _hayati_ … I know ...”

**********

Neither of them knew how much time had passed but the screaming had finally stopped, apart from a few far off voices. Unless the cold had taken away his ability to hear, which was always a possibility. Nicky blinked slowly, shivering uncontrollably. The dead floated around him, people covered in frost, frozen almost in statuesque poses. His frozen fingers clutched Joe to him by his lifejacket before they went up slowly to his neck, feeling for a pulse. Between them they’d already died four times. Nicky could remember his heart slowing down drastically before just slipping away, his name on Joe’s lips. Heart failure, shock of the cold, but they came back to each other. Joe’s pulse was gone again, his head against Nicky’s shoulder as they floated together. God, what were they to do? Nicky pressed a kiss to Joe’s forehead, stroking his frost covered curls.

“Come back to me …” he whispered hoarsely. It almost seemed like Joe had heard him as moments later, the other man was alive, gasping for a breath, grasping at the wooden board in front of them, coughing. Nicky held him tightly. “ _Sono qui_ …” Joe relaxed the best he could against him, his head cushioned on Nicky’s shoulder by the lifejacket.

“What do we do?” Joe asked, his usually soft voice hardened by the cold. “We will just keep dying.”

“I don’t know, my love … I don’t know …” Nicky replied. He didn’t know. He had no idea how to get them out of this situation. Andromache and Sebastien would wait for them in New York, not knowing a thing, wondering why they hadn’t arrived when they said they would. “The lifeboats are all gone …”

“You were right, Nicolo … selfish bastards, not to fill those boats. The rich don’t care for the poor, even when death is upon them,” he said. Nicky nodded softly against Joe’s head, his eyes drooping. He just wanted to sleep. He couldn’t feel anything, his whole body numb. Time passed by, both of them dropping in and out of consciousness here and there, until a flash of light cast across the water in front of Joe. He turned his head the best he can towards where it was coming from, his vision blurred. Nicky was unresponsive against him as he moved, listening intently as he was certain he could hear someone. He turned that little bit more, only to hear the splash of water behind him as a lifeboat oar came down into the water behind him. Joe had to act quickly, a rush of relief filling him, tears coming to his eyes before he felt hands on him, as if they were ready to move him out of the way of the oar, thinking him dead, and he reached out a hand and grabbed the crewman’s sleeve, alerting everyone on the boat to his presence. 

“There’s someone … he’s alive …” someone in the boat called out as hands reached down to grip him, but Joe would not let go of Nicky.

“Him first …” Joe said, hoarsely, and the crewman looked at Nicky in his arms. 

“Sir, he’s …”

“Him first … please …” he pleaded. The man looked up at the others in the boat before he grabbed hold of Nicky’s lifejacket, hauling him into the boat first. Joe thanked every God he could think of in his mind that they had been found. Nicky was pulled aboard before Joe was helped up too. He could not move his legs, crying out at the pain he felt from the cold. Blankets were wrapped around him, just as Nicky came back, rolling over gasping for breath and sighing with relief when he saw where he was. The made as quick work as he could removing the lifejacket from himself, feeling that little bit less constricted, Joe following his actions.

“We’ve got you, fellas,” someone’s voice said from behind him, but Joe reached for Nicky, pulling him to him, holding him close as another blanket was added around Nicky’s frame. They held each other tightly, blurred vision glancing around at their rescuers, who had attached two half full lifeboats together to come back for any survivors.

“Thank you … thank you …” Joe muttered, tears in his eyes, before he buried his nose in Nicky’s frost covered hair. “I’ve got you, _habibi_ … I’ve got you.” He pulled the blanket he wore tighter around himself, wrapping half of it round Nicky too. Joe glanced around the boat, lots of eyes watching him and his love, a look of relief on their faces that they’d managed to find someone. The crewman put a hand on Joe’s shoulder.

“You’re lucky sons of bitches, both of you …” he said with a relieved sigh. Joe managed to huff a laugh, nodding his head, before he coughed, his throat hoarse from the cold. 

“I know …” he said. He and Nicky shivered violently against each other, moving further into the lifeboat to make room in case of any more survivors before sinking down against each other, other passengers sitting close to share any extra warmth they had, something they were thankful for. The crewman gestured for them to begin rowing again and they moved through the dead agonisingly slow, two of the passengers helping check for anyone alive. Joe glanced out at the water, the flashlight in the crewman’s hand illuminating men, woman and children dead in the water. Nicky caught a glimpse of a mother and her child, wrapped in a frozen embrace, and he buried his face against Joe’s chest. Joe held him close. “I know, Nicky … I know.” 

They had to have been rowing for hours, the shouts of the crewman asking if anyone was alive was only answered by the echo of his own voice in the silence, then met with silence, before he finally stopped, coming to end of the watery graveyard caused by the Titanic. They had found only a handful of people, Joe and Nicky included. Joe had fallen asleep, the cold having taken its toll on him, sleeping down between the seats of the lifeboat, cocooned in his blanket, his hand firmly clasped in Nicky’s, as Nicky sat next to him, letting him pillow his head in his lap. The crewman eventually sat down, taking off his hat and running a hand down his weary face. The sorrow in his eyes was indescribable.

“You did the right thing,” Nicky said, causing the man to look up. “You knew these boats could hold more and you came back …” 

“I had to …” he answered, putting his hand into his jacket and pulling out a whiskey flask, taking the lid off and taking a quick drink. “My conscience would not let me leave. If I could save one person, I knew it wouldn’t have been for nothing.” He held his flask out to Nicky, who took it and took a drink, the burn of the alcohol strong, but well needed, before he handed it back. The other man took an ezra quick gulp before he put the flask away.

“Today, I had a gun held to my chest by one of the crew for telling him the lifeboat he had just lowered was too empty … he would not listen. But knowing that someone came back makes me realise that there are good people in the world, but we will always be divided by class,” Nicky said softly, stroking Joe’s curls. “We’re not scum because we were in steerage … we won our tickets in a bet, thinking how lucky we were to join a magnificent ship on its maiden voyage. But now look at us. We’re all the same, stuck in a lifeboat, in the middle of the ocean, wondering if anyone will find us before we freeze to death, with said magnificent ship lying in pieces on the seabed. These memories will haunt us until our dying day.” The crewman watched Nicky, before he lowered his head, running a hand through his hair.

“You’re right …” he said. “Of course you’re right. There is no excuse.” Nicky sighed softly, feeling Joe’s hand tighten in around his. 

“No, there’s not.” 

The RMS Carpathia was like a beacon in the darkness when they saw her. A ship, finally, that would get them to New York. The sobs of relief from their lifeboat were expected, Joe holding Nicky to him as they rowed towards it. They were helped onto it before they helped the women and children from the lifeboats, doing what was in their nature to do. There was hundreds of passengers on it from previously arrived lifeboats. They finally got some medical attention, not that they needed it, a warm coat and some hot food in their bellies, moving to join the other passengers on deck as the ship began to sail again once the last passengers were aboard. 

“I hope we never have to sail anywhere again …” Nicky said around a small chunk of bread, sitting with Joe with his back against the side, watching other passengers.

“I’m with you there, _habibi_ … but I hate to break it to you, we head back to Europe, we need to sail,” he said, accepting a piece of bread Nicky ripped off for him, popping it in his mouth. Nicky huffed in annoyance. They watched people walk by, people they recognised from when they were loading lifeboats, rich women wanting to know when their husbands would get there and if the boat could go back and find them, only to be told no. They watched young families be reunited, mostly without fathers and brothers, and that hurt Nicky’s heart. He was able to sit there with the love of his life, as glas as he was, but these people would not see their father, brothers, uncles, grandfathers again. He felt Joe take his hand, threading their fingers together. “I can hear you overthinking. We did what we could and it was more than what most people did.”

“You’re right,” Nicky said, patting Joe’s hand with his other one. “I’m sorry, _amore mio_.” They sat together until their legs protested and they needed to stretch them, walking around the deck of the boat, stopped by passengers that remembered them, thanking them for their help. They kept company with them until they reached New York, both of them never happier to see dry land. The first step off the boat, saying their goodbyes, was a breath of relief for them. Joe took Nicky’s hand, pressing a kiss against his knuckles, then his lips before they began to walk away from the painful memories they would have for years to come. 

**********

**Present Day**

“Nile, what are you watching?” Joe asked, throwing himself down onto the sofa beside her, feet up on the coffee table. Nicky was in the kitchen, preparing them all something to eat, Joe making sure he wasn’t looking before he threw a few pieces of popcorn in his mouth. Nicky would just complain he’d ruin his appetite.

“Oh, I was just channel surfing,” she said. “Nothing interesting on so I’m watching Titanic right now …” An almighty crash came from the kitchen behind them, both Nile and Joe turning to look at Nicky, who had dropped what he had been carrying at the time on the floor, looking over at the television, face pale. Booker, who had been asleep in the chair, was startled awake by the sound and Andy came rushing out of the bedroom.

“What happened?” she asked but Nicky looked directly at Nile.

“What are you watching?” 

“Um, Titanic …” she said, before she exchanged glances with Andy, then Booker, then Joe, who was just staring at Nicky. “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” Nile was genuinely confused. “I can turn it over …” Nicky put his hand out to stop her.

“No … no, _scusa_ … “ he said but Nile was none the wiser.

“Have I missed something?” she asked, turning to Joe.

“Erm, it brings up bad memories for us,” Joe said and Nile frowned.

“I still don’t … oh my _GOD_ , you were on the Titanic?” she asked, looking between Joe and Nicky. Booker chuckled from the chair.

“Kid, when they say it brings up bad memories, it usually means they don’t want to talk about it,” Andy advised, before she went to help Nicky pick up the broken dishes from the kitchen floor.

“But they were on the _Titanic_ , Andy. That’s a big deal …” she said and Andy shook her head with a small smile as she put the broken crockery in the trash before she cupped Nicky’s cheek and disappeared back to her room. Nicky gravitated towards Joe, Booker and Nile, sitting down with them, eyes on the television.

“Babe, we don’t have to watch it …”

“I can turn it over, Nicky …” 

“No, no. I’m fine. Yes we were on it … it was …” Nicky sighed, looking for the right word.

“A shitshow?” Booker offered, Nicky glaring at him.

“Horrifying?” Joe offered and Nicky nodded. Nile still looked shocked, like someone had just shared a lifetime’s worth of secrets with her. “It was … as you can imagine, a terrifying ordeal, even for an immortal. Not knowing if we were going to come back to life in the middle of the Atlantic or how long we were going to be stuck there without rescue.” Nile sat up on the couch, crossing her legs under herself, looking at Joe then at Nicky.

“I won’t ask if its painful for you, but if you are able to, will you tell me about it?” she asked. Nicky looked over at Joe, raising an eyebrow. 

“Let’s watch the movie first … see how accurate this is,” Joe said getting himself comfortable. Booker put up the recliner of his leather chair, intending to watch with them but would probably be asleep in the next ten minutes. Nicky looked at the TV before he kicked off his shoes and put his feet up on the table with Nile and Joe, big toe poking out a hole in his sock. Nile grabbed the popcorn and put it on her lap so it was accessible for all three.

“If you two end up with some sort of trauma after this, I swear I’m gonna kill you both cos I’m not making you do this …” she said and Joe laughed, just as Andy came back out of her room and slotted herself down between Joe and the arm of the couch, picking up some popcorn and throwing it at Booker, warning him not to snore if he fell asleep. Nicky finally let a smile slide over his face. He remembered back to that night on the ship, in the cold, in the darkness, to that traumatic experience he still had the odd nightmare about, before he turned to his family. There was no cold and no darkness with them, only warmth and love, all shown in their individual ways, and he knew that was all he needed. He slipped down the couch a little, leaning on Nile’s shoulder gently before he grabbed handful of popcorn and shoved it in his mouth. He met Joe’s eyes, his love winking at him before they turned back to the TV. He was with them, he was safe and he was loved. What more could an immortal possibly want?


End file.
